Thanks to the internet and today's easy-to-use software, getting your music made and in a place where anyone can hear it is no problem at all. However, because every bedroom-based artist and his dog now has a MySpace page, it's more difficult than ever to get people.
It isn't just about the music – it's about getting yourself noticed. If you're looking for ways to stand out, we suggest the following…
1. Shoot a video
Every website worth its salt now carries video, and that means you absolutely need a video to go with your music. But forget about hiring in Godley & Creme - the great news is that they're nowhere near as hard or as expensive to create as they once were. With a cheap video camera (£200) and video editing software, you'll have something half decent in no time.
The editing software will quite often resemble your music sequencer, so you'll soon be mixing, blending and adding effects just like the pros. As for the content, well that's up to you, but staring moodily across wind-swept moors and stone circles should be off the agenda. Try something different or play to your strengths. If you have an unusual image then focus on that. If you're a great live band than simply film a good gig. If you're ugly, use CGI! There are so many great packages out there that you can make even poorly-shot stuff look presentable, so you really should go for it.
2. Rope someone famous in
With millions of reality TV Z-listers all vying for attention, there's a good chance you know someone – or know someone who knows someone – who's famous. At least a little bit, anyway. And the less famous they are, the more likely it is that they'll want the extra exposure that you can promise them by appearing on your song or in your video. Got someone who used to be in a second-rate sitcom down the road from you? Washed-up soap star holed up in your local? Ex child TV star working in your supermarket? Get them in your video, write a song about them, get it out there. It's an instant story that could help sell your songs (and ultimately your soul, but we won't go there).
3. Shock tactics!
Probably only for the desperate, this, but what the hell. Think of something that will have Daily Mail readers spitting into their Ovaltine. Being incredibly juvenile here really does help, but we loved Aphex Twin when he superimposed his hairy head on to a bikini-clad body for a cover (or did he?). Think along the lines of the Oxford Student Union and you'll get the drift. Court controversy, light the touch paper and stand back. Remember: there's no such thing as bad publicity.
4. Get a musical gimmick
Roping in a celebrity is a great way to go down the gimmick route, but if you think this cheapens your art, be a bit clever and go down the musical gimmick route to achieve notoriety. Shortest track? Longest track? Bowel-moving bass? You know the score. Use your music technology knowledge to create something that will spin into a story.
5. As recommended by…
'Best dance track of the year so far!'. Sounds good, doesn't it? And it's simple to get someone to comment on your music. Maybe that Z-lister you roped in for the video might say something. If not, get a quote from a magazine by sending your demo in. You can even get feedback from forums. Just don't lie, make sure the quote is a good one, and it wasn't simply you or your mum that said it.
Word-of-mouth recommendations are the cause of many band signings these days, because human beings, particularly of the A&R variety, are notoriously lazy and would rather someone tell them a band is good than them have to trawl through a bunch of demos and decide for themselves. So get someone to say something nice. Now.
6. Go insane
There was a guy on a forum who would open up threads with comments like 'MY MUSIC IS GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD'. He was shot down in flames, of course. But he posted so much, to so much angry response, that he actually generated publicity for his music – you simply had to check it out to see if it was as good as he said, or as bad as everyone else said!
This kind of tactic is annoying, and we're still not sure if this guy was playing people or if he really was mad, but he got results.
7. Get messed up
As Bill Hicks pointed out: if you're anti drugs, then chuck out your record collection. Indeed, many classic recordings were made under the influence of just about everything, so there's a good argument for breaking the law, getting high and making music. But be warned: for every classic album there's a shambolic mess that 'sounded good at the time', so while it might seem like a great idea, we're not advocating becoming a drug-crazed fool and landing yourself in trouble.
8. Get some help
It's all very well generating your own publicity but, let's face it, you're too busy losing it, getting messed up and making music for that, so, if you have faith in your art, get someone else to promote it. Get yourself a manager or a PR company. Both will spin stories for the media and both will cost, but you gotta have faith.
9. Get on TV
Nowadays it's almost hard not to be on TV. There are now so many channels with so much airtime to fill that getting on the box is much easier than you might think.
Be warned, though, TV can be the quickest way to stardom but also the fastest way back down to obscurity, so if you play with fire, expect to get burnt and end up on a 'where are they now?' show.
10. Get a weird look
What do you think about when we say: 'Marilyn Manson'? Is it his pumping goth music or the fact that he looks like he's going to kill you? And what about that band of 'monsters' who won Eurovision a couple of years back? Do you remember the tune? Thought not. They have a look that gained them notoriety but almost at the expense of their art – so you have to tread a fine line here. An image is essential, so push it as far as you can without detracting from your sound. The more extreme, the bigger the headlines, but for longevity you might want to tone it down just a bit.
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